Today’s post is a doozy, but one that I think needs to be read. As I mentioned, I’m part of a weekly bible study with an amazing group of girls. We are reading, “What’s It Like To Be Married To Me”. Each chapter delves into a different area of marriage/relationships, and this past week the reading and our conversation really impacted me. On my way home Tuesday night it struck close to my heart that this MUST be the topic that I write about for this weeks post.
Life has a “tricky” way of becoming overwhelming fast. During the last few minutes of a Yoga class I attend, I feel this total peace within my life and soul. Of course, as soon as I start driving back home, reality hits as someone cuts me off or I am rushing to the next appointment. Lets face it, there is a lot of stress that happens (often on a daily basis!) to gripe and complain about. The reality is, the more we continue this cycle/pattern, the more it BECOMES us. It becomes who we are and our thinking patterns. Are you one of those wives/girlfriends who as soon as your significant other walks in the door you just pour out all the hashes of the day? I’ve been there. Sure it “seems” like a nice release, but when we start constantly thinking and acting in this way, it becomes part of HOW we start to think and then turns into how we act and react.
This also pertains to our complaints about others. I love marriage; it’s such a beautiful gift. When you put two people in a household, you are of course going to have your differences in how you do things. Often, someone has to be “right” in their method of doing things. In turn you start to nag and complain, and start to really take your loved one for granted (especially if after awhile, all you see is the negative). So, why not choose joy instead? Why not choose the now to thank your significant other for all they bring to your life. Yes, we all have our gripes, and I think I’ve ACTUALLY told my husband “why can’t you speak to me in sonnets like Edward does to Bella” – but you know what? I love him for all the little things he does because he loves me. Giving me a kiss on the forehead EVERY morning before he leaves for work. Like cleaning out my car on his Saturday off as a surprise and even putting a “new car” scent smelly in there because he knows I love good smells. And how about rushing home during a busy workday to help me bring Henry to the vet when his paw was torn up from stepping on glass. The list can go on and on; but the fact of the matter is that he loves me unconditionally has his wife and best friend, and I need to show more gratitude on a DAILY basis. Don’t wait until a bad thing happens in your life to start being grateful or saying thank you. We must take a stand to “Choose Joy” TODAY and remember all the beauty and blessings we have right in front of us. I’m not saying this is going to be an easy thing. No, it’s not. So even if the toddler is getting into mischief or you’re up to your neck drowning in taxes, find the silver lining and choose joy. Because this to shall pass, and wouldn’t you much rather be a person that exudes positivity? Think of what it can bring to your relationship if instead you chose to thank your partner for just being him than complaining about something he forgot to do. It definitely will be a struggle at times, but I promise the effort will not go unnoticed and your relationship will strengthen.
So for this Date Night Thursday, I ask that you write down a few things that your spouse/significant other did for you this week. It doesn’t have to be GRAND gestures. It can be as simple as “cleaning out the dishwasher” or “making dinner”. Find some quiet snuggle time and THANK each other for one (or a few of) those things you were thankful for that might have gone unspoken this week. I know of couples that make this a weekly occurrence or keep a “thankful” journal. When at any point you’re feeling that life is bringing you down, or you’re upset with your partner, take out the journal and read past entries. Take the time and effort to learn the language of gratitude.
A special thank you to the adorable Rachel-May. We talked in depth about this topic together and it was she who inspired the branded “choose joy” image above. Check out her work!